Memorial Day 2013

We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free. 

-- Ronald Reagan

As a military spouse I know many spouses who have had friends' husbands pay the ultimate price for our great Nation, but I have not held a friend tight in my own arms who has lost her husband...

My heart selfishly hopes I never have to experience those emotions with a close friend. But when you can't imagine your husband doing anything but serving our Nation...well, you get the idea.

As Memorial Day Weekend drew near this year I began to realize it felt different. 

The excitement of a four day weekend with my husband home wasn't as exciting as I gradually recollected where I was this time last year and the emotions I was feeling or trying not to feel...

The first picture I saw of my husband after he deployed! I cried.

My husband was deployed to Afghanistan the majority of last year. It was our first deployment. Many of my seasoned military spouse friends recognized it as a "hard" deployment. They are all "hard", but these guys were in harms way more than my husband will even admit to me today.

I had previously volunteered to be the FRG Leader for my husband's Company, which basically means I got lots of good news and bad news first throughout the deployment [and had to pass good or bad news along to the spouses!]

I'll never forget the first "bad news" email I received [any "bad news" not pertaining directly to your Company was sent via email].

My husband had only been gone two weeks and I was headed to the gym. Out of habit I checked my phone in the locker room for any communication from my husband, and there it was...two men had been killed in my husband's Battalion [there are 6 companies in a battalion]. 

I was numb. Numb enough to just plug my headphones in and run as hard as I could on the nearest treadmill. But not numb enough to hold back the angry and frightened tears when I called my mom on my way home.

You see, these two men had been killed by "members" of the ANA, the Afghan National Army.  They were the first of many KIA's during this particular deployment from "green on blue" attacks.

First deployment, first two weeks of the deployment, first bad news email, and two men lost their lives at the hands of the individuals they were sent to train. I was a mess and confused.

And I think I still am confused most days. Even though I didn't know any of the KIA's personally from my husband's deployment, it still doesn't seem fair.

But what is worse to me than "unfair" is not remembering their sacrifice.

You may not agree with the Afghanistan or Iraq wars, but you cannot disagree with the selfless choice of our brave men and women in uniform who choose to stand up for their convictions in the face of death.

Remember your freedoms. Remember the price paid.

These fallen heroes represent the character of a nation who has a long history of patriotism and honor-and a nation who has fought many battles to keep our country free from threats of terror.

--Michael N. Castle